queer
people
in positions of power
in the film industry
(at least the parts i’ve been a part of)
always help
create an atmosphere
of love
and respect
and care
and what the industry
could be
September 2, 2023
after the jarring
eruption
into the new month,
the 2nd is the day for
double checking due dates,
calmly vibing with the month at hand,
and
embracing the day
fully
as time passes
[or is this just me?]
September 1, 2023
connections/
connecting/
friendship/
words/
will i say the right thing?
will i do this the right way?
[you don’t need to keep auditioning
for your friendships]
August 31, 2023
the panic
sets in
seasons shift
old memories
more people than i can handle
more emotions than i capable of processing
i just want to breathe
slowly
intentionally
and not feel like it’s simply a
mask
against my true
scared
self
August 30, 2023
but
i got nothing to write about
(not because
i’m less than full
of feels
and thoughts
and so much so much —
but ~because~
i’m so full
with those things
it’s so overwhelming,
and all the feels
thoughts
and other head-heart junk,
that it all melds together
into white noise
static
static
static)
August 29, 2023
nothing
is satisfying
artistically
poetically
aesthetically
i finish a verse
and just want to shake the shame
right off my fingertips
and start anew
(but the newness itself
won’t do
won’t do)
August 28, 2023
only took five whole days
to get back into the swing of this
writing
and feeling good about my writing/
confident that i have something to say
and the ability to say it
in a unique and clever way.
i still am probably not as good as i want to be
but maybe i’m close to
how good i
think
i am
August 27, 2023
listening
to spooky music
while the weather is still nice and warm
does not make the time fly
faster —
it instead
makes me believe
we live in a place
where halloween costumes
need not
be crafted
to fit oversized
over winter coats,
and trick-or-treating
need not
happen
in blusters of snow
and ice,
and the day after
need not
indicate
an immediate
seasonal
depression.
August 26, 2023
i had such hopes
and dreams
for august
and though it is not over
yet
i’m having those desolate feels
August 25, 2023
the pull
of the iud string/
the cramps
from a new one entering,
do not hurt me.
but the crash of a mug that wasn’t mine to break;
or a tiny pebble stuck in my shoe
for each step, bothering, not stabbing;
or something sticky
and i can’t tell what;
or the tag of a shirt;
or an uncomfortable sitting position —
those all make tears
appear
in my eyes.
but actual pain?
worst pain of my life?
nah.
