maybe i just need a kick in the pants
a push in some direction
any direction
to just try some things out
let’s dabble in dancing
in aerial theatre
in embroidery/stained glass/poetry/story-writing/singing
i want to be performing
and i want to stay home and safe and comfy
and i want to be known
and i want to never be perceived
and i want to grow my talents
but i get so frustrated when i’m not immediately good at something
and i can’t help but think
that this is what life is
so if it’s what life is
then maybe i should just
enjoy the ride
that i’m on
Author: HJ
January 3, 2023
pick at the nail polish
pick at the skin beside
pick at your lips and the inside of your cheek
with your teeth
as they glide over and over and over
searching for purchase
searching for purpose
searching for something to quiet the mind
and never admit to having anxiety
ever
ever
ever in your life
[a poem for someone
maybe someone
other than me]
January 2, 2024
today is Computer’s birthday
turning two
on january 2
sillily pouncing on plastic bags,
wild-eyed licking her treats she gets,
sadly lying under the table
in her cute yellow hoodie
matching with her kips
just another day…
and yet
a big one too —
a grown a-dog
[that’s a grown adult dog, if you
didn’t know already]
but she’ll always be
Puppies
to me
[to both of us really]
January 1, 2024
getting used to the
new spacing/
new calligraphy
of the four
at the end of the year,
promising myself
i’ll give grace to my own mind/fingers
for inevitably forgetting
during the first three to six months of this year
and letting myself have patience
with my own soul
as i get used to the inevitability
of the passage
of time
December 31, 2023
i am trying to write a poem
to collect and examine
what 2023 meant to me
but we still have one more day,
and so much can happen
in just a few hours
so i guess i’ll write a little now,
and a little tomorrow,
and asses throughout these next 48 hours
[minus 9:19]
and see where it gets me
during tomorrow’s
twenty-four
and for now —
breakfast shall be at hand, i believe.
December 30, 2023
seeing my
[zombie]/[dead] name
doesn’t necessarily bring me pain
it’s really just the expectation of
family
or spam mail of each variety
[either way, i kind of just roll my eyes
and get on with my day]
December 29, 2023
i need projects
in my life —
creative outlets
with other people —
a collaboration
feeding a conglomeration
of creativity
otherwise
i’m just not me
December 28, 2023
swirling in my mind
worlds and stories and epic tales
i cannot find
i can’t even look
for fear that the search
is what makes them disappear
so i seem, from the outside, like a normal
everyday
human
maybe a little weird
maybe a little queer
but otherwise fine
but inside…
inside the roiling mess, the boiling mass
of tangles of plot lines
and whole universes overlapping
to the point of chaos
and i want to pull at one solitary string
hoping
it’ll un-loose
and unleash
a story-worthy ~something~
but
i’m scared
it won’t
and i’m even more scared
the harder i pull at one
the farther tangled
the other ones will become
until i’m
all out of opportunities
December 27, 2023
maybe a modicum of gibberish will help this morning poem come to fruition
a conglomeration of vocabulary i may or may not know the actual definition of
a plethora of words, used correctly or incorrectly
a whole ass menagerie of meaningless syllables somehow bringing meaning to something
in this morning poetry tradition
December 26, 2023
pie for breakfast
on boxing day —
a day of refreshing,
re-establishing
yourself to the regular world
but still thinking of/
still recovering from/
still dreaming about
the holiday time
from yesterday
and the day before
so keep the spoils and
hold them close at hand
and have
pie for breaking fast
on the morning of boxing day
kipventures 