morning pages
in the evening
as the fireworks
sparkle and pop
boom and bang
shatter and static
and startle the puppy
awake
Author: HJ
July 3, 2024
i’m careful
too careful
i know what could happen
[to anyone, not just to me]
and i work around those possibilities
those eventualities
but i never account for the time it takes
to account for all these things
i think i’ll be gone one hundred times over
before i live out all the lives i
planned for
July 2, 2024
into july
first day gone by
can’t exactly tell you why
i’m both calmed and concerned by
the month of
july
July 1, 2024
flying
flying
flying
all aerial
is flying
all aerial
is playing
but
the high/dynamic kind
of flying trapeze
of cloud swing
especially
is playful
and feels like true
flight
to me
June 30, 2024
i suppose i could/should write a poem
about this past pride month
and all its craziness
and what it’s meant to me…
but i think i need to absorb it
and put it to bed
[or at least let it nap]
before either of us are ready
to assess how i feel
about how this hectic
time of rainbows and shows
and running around and barely breathing
and nervousness and new experiences
and wholesome friendships
went
so…
one of these days
when it’s no longer june
i’ll write about it
June 29, 2024
wounds
from circus
are worse than bruises
because they are usually burns
and they continue to make me squirm
in showers to clean them
and days afterwards
if they need band-aids
and then, finally, when they’ve stopped looking like
peeled flesh
and grossness,
and the healing process has set well in
the itch
is all-consuming
and unimaginably annoying
and because i usually never get them this bad
i can forget this stage
but right now
this healing thing on my ankle
is all my conscious can think about
and how much i want to scratch my whole skin off
but then the process would just start
all over again…
June 28, 2024
calming massages
and meditations
and stretching in mornings
[or evenings]
and taking deep breaths
and being thankful
and all the things i know would help
but i either forget about
or never have the time
or, more often than not, i feel like i’m undeserving
of the care and its after effects
and i just wish i could somehow convince my full self
i’m allowed some kind of
self-care
[and maybe even remind myself
that it’s imperative
to take down settler colonialism
and capitalism
and the white supremacist patriarchy]
June 27, 2024
mutual aid
mutual companionship
community
and us keeping us safe
i can listen and adopt and absorb these ideals,
but being raised in middle class white america
means my default is to
the individualistic/
pull oneself up by their bootstraps/
bullshit this country forcefeeds us
even when i don’t want to believe
[brainwashing is a powerful thing]
June 26, 2024
my whole concept of
the day of the week
is gone
is it wednesday?
is it a weekend?
have days ceased to be
and now we’re living off of
vibes alone?
someone help me
be a person
again
June 25, 2024
i just want to hide in the middle of the woods
and make physical art somehow
[really don’t know how, could be painting
could be fiber-art-ing
could be making tiny houses
for my fairy kin to live in]
and forget that the rest of the world exists
but i don’t think i ever could forget
truly
i don’t think i ever could
kipventures 