i feel a yearning to yearn
a desire to want
a longing to feel like i want to feel
anything at all
Author: HJ
July 28, 2024
spotted lantern flies
cursed our existence
outside
one year ago
this year there are still some
but they seem few
and far-between
and i’m hoping that means
that we as new yorkers
got together and destroyed
[/are still destroying]
an invasive species
that hurts our ecosystem.
as many faults as i can find with nyc
from living here for five years
that is one thing i gotta hand us —
when we have a task
to better our neighborhoods
that we can all get behind — we do it
and we do it
good.
July 27, 2024
re-reading my terrible
obsession books
and loving
every
minute
July 26, 2024
my back
has ached
these last two days
and i woke up this morning
less back-pain-y
and more everying-pain-y
so i suppose that’s
progress?
July 25, 2024
wearing my Grandmama’s jean jacket shirt,
the one that was probably too big for her, too,
with a stain on the pocket that she hid with some cool embroidery —
a design around the initial she went by
[her full name was “Mary Jane” but she went by “Jane”
for as long as any of us can remember]
and because i’ve started going by my initials,
i knew i could easily add a little “H” on one side
and a little “F” on the other of this giant “J”
and it would look intentional, like the rest of the design,
and i could claim this as my own —
and wear it not as a hand-me-down
from the Grandmama where i got my middle name, but as a
continuation of the lineage
of Jane
and J
and the art of embroidery
and family
and everything…
July 24, 2024
this morning’s
morning pages
are especially randomized
and i don’t know if that’s because
there were none yesterday
or if it’s because i’m still half sleepy-state
or if the vibe has been
stale
these last few days/weeks/maybe a month now
but i cannot
cannot
cannot abide by
poetry that doesn’t make me
wonder
at my own psyche.
July 23, 2024
i would like to learn how to be less careful
less risk-averse
more risk-taking
more prone to
having fun
letting loose
and just
go
July 22, 2024
every now and then i get scared
off from sharing this poetry blog because
what if my best poems are behind me
and those i invite to read only see now and upcoming
and never ever see the good stuff?
July 21, 2024
i know why
rip van winkle
is more of a horror story
than anything else
i get it
i do
but
sometimes i daydream of taking a nap
that lasts one hundred years
[give or take]
and that is when i finally
almost
barely
kind of
feel
any sort of
well-rested
vibe
July 20, 2024
why is writing this morning
like pulling teeth?
didn’t i go to bed early enough?
didn’t i get enough sleep?
didn’t i wake up relatively awake
and go on a walk to get the blood rushig up
from my feet
to head and hands and otherwise?
why why why is this such a struggle today?