once again
feeling like i’m cosplaying
adulthood
[but also like everyone else might be, too]
Author: HJ
February 5, 2025
this poem will
[likely]
take the place of the poem that was supposed to go
on my silly poetry blog
yesterday
and though i am not writing it
on the date it says at the top
it is still a poem i am posting here
[and i did, technically, write poetry yesterday
just not quite enough
and nothing i felt was
whole
enough
to post]
and what did i do yesterday
that prevented me from writing
all 300 of my poetry words
and taking the time to post
my silly blog post writings?
i had conversations
with my kip
the love of my life
as we enjoyed a distraction from
morning everyday routines
and the terror that is happening everywhere
while we dealt with the terror of
bodies
not cooperating
and puppies
asking to play
[that one’s not a terror though,
that one there is
absolutely delightful]
and just had a bit of a reset
with communication
and a bagel
and a fig bar
so that’s what i did yesterday…
what will happen today?
February 4, 2025
seeing other folks’ art
is always so cool
and makes me want to write too
but i feel like i either
have nothing specific to write about
or too much in my brain
ready to all come out in some sort of
cacophonous stew
[but the brilliance of this metaphor
is that stew still has discernible parts
that can be picked away from the whole,
so maybe i should just try
and maybe one vegetable
will grow
a garden of a play
someday]
February 3, 2025
i’m constantly trying to think of ways
to make my words have more impact
more gravity
more pull
but as i fill my evenings with silly improv shows
that truly make me feel like these casts are all my friends
and gives me some kind of hope
for an artistic future
in this damn country
i wonder…
have i been disregarding the power of funny
of goofy
of comedy to make us “forget” about the world
for a few seconds —
just enough to have the energy
to get back to
the fight
that needs to be fought?
can i write both heart-wrenching
powerful
fists in the air
i’m angry and motivated and i care
kind of poetry
as
well
as
the goofy kind that gives us all the energy
to fight that good fight?
to right the kinds of wrongs
that need to be overturned?
am i just a little clown
here in the world to show
that humor
and compassion
CAN
coexist?
[is that why i’m still alive?]
February 2, 2025
deciding
deciding
deciding between
connection and
mental health and
why is it that there’s no
solid line between the two
and they’re interspersed
with fascism in this land
and those who want to fight
also have to use the damn
master’s tools
as it stands
why can’t we
just burn it all
down
and start with something new built on
compassion?
February 1, 2025
can i sleep
for a week
and regain my ability
to be a person
throughout a day?
January 31, 2025
everything feels like sci fi these days
whether it’s the prevalence of ai
in our lives
[uninvited]
every day
or the threats of new pandemics
bearing down
on all of us
or the literal implosion
of our country/
explosion of our government
into full blown fascism
[from a simmering pot
of fascism called many other things
that it was
for many
many years]
and i’m just one little enby
trying to figure out how to be the
best person i can be:
helping others,
keeping a kind heart,
standing up to injustices,
learning about my internalized biases,
all while having a constant background soundtrack
of appropriate ambient sounds —
the songs and vibes of our times —
tuned to the bones
beside/inside
my ears
it really does feel
like sci fi
around here
January 30, 2025
video game music
and pondering strange dreams
and trying to hold the countdown
to the hour after next
still
so i can have some more chill morning time
with my kip before they need to leave
again [this time into the city]
and i need to go upstairs
and talk about my
~feelings~
[ugh]
January 29, 2025
i’ve been tracking my sneezes
since the start of the year
it’s a very very very silly
new year’s resolution
but damn am i invested
interestingly
i usually sneeze at least once
every day
but some things can up the count
like being sick [only one day impacted]
or adding abundant amounts of jerk seasoning
to my dinner of rice
[only one extra sneeze added]
otherwise, it seems to be
randomness
some days two sneezes instead of one
some days zero sneezes at all
and one bizarre seven-sneeze day
out of nowhere
but this is only after
28 days of data collection
let’s check back after
at least a full
month…
January 28, 2025
i
am
a writer
i write
every
damn
day
i even get paid
to write
sometimes
and if i get a little overwhelmed
when a prompt for writing
isn’t
something i’m used to
that’s okay.
kipventures 