i have poems
and concepts
rushing out of me
today
and none of them
are fit
to post
(guess i gotta look at the past)
Author: HJ
November 28, 2022
wanting to go on adventure
also
wanting to just stay home
the light shining through the vines
finds
sparkles in the dew drops
or are they rain spots
or is it already frost
thought
i’d write about mundane things
thought
i’d write about tech timings
thought
i’d poem about contemplation
but what i needed
to write about
was
nonsense
(apparently)
November 27, 2022
something in my heart
beats a little faster
a little stronger–
the birds outside
remind me
of springtime
full of possibilities
(but also of pressure)–
and i don’t have the right words
or awareness to convey
the emotions i’m feeling today
so let’s just say
birthdays
are always a mixed bag
i just want to see into it
before reaching in
(but that
is not
how
life
works)
November 26, 2022
the mood:
negative
the mood:
dour
the mood:
almost happy
for a little while
the mood:
existential
the mood:
hopeless
the mood:
hopeful
for once
hold on to it
it’s gone
the mood:
emptiness
is there a mood at all?
the mood:
cyclical
i should be used to it by now
the mood:
ever-changing
ever-growing
ever-morphing
into a new mood
a new emotion
a new thing to think and remember and grow
the mood:
i’m not worried
about my mood
(is
this
happiness?)
the mood:
how did i even get here?
to this place?
to this age?
to this mood?
to this hair?
to this me?
the mood:
the mood:
the mood:
[did i discover anything of substance?]
November 25, 2022
give thanks
to the trees and rivers and oceans and skies
give thanks
to the people and animals who fulfill your lives
give thanks
to the universe that allows you to be
but maybe
forgo
giving thanks
to systems of oppression
everywhere they are/may be
a post-thanksgiving thanks-giving
November 24, 2022
can one have growing pains
in one’s own brain?
the body eventually stops–
no more taller,
(maybe a bit wider,)
eventually the opposite:
shortening,
giving in to gravity,
what we do daily
affecting us
forever
but our minds
constantly
shift/
change/
adapt/
it’s not as easy
to pick things up,
but it is still possible.
so as we grow
into this new version
of our brain,
is that where headaches come from?
is that why i need more sleep than usual?
i wish i had
something
akin
to a wall measurement
to see the invisible
expanding…
November 23, 2022
i used to think
to feel satisfied in life
i needed fame, notoriety,
an excess of success
but the longer i find
in my unknown life
the tiny pieces of joy
that set my heart alight
the more i begin to suspect
i might have been
a little bit
incorrect
November 22, 2022
chill
don’t expect
don’t expect
calmly
live life
as it is
as it is
breathe
through the day
breathe
through the night
it’s okay
it’s okay
it’s okay
November 21, 2022
health
insurance
hassles
{there is
a better
way}
November 20, 2022
i wrote a snarky poem
for Trans Week of Awareness
telling y’all to be aware of me:
my gender, chaotic
my joy, revolutionary.
and still i talked about our siblings who are silenced
through legislation
through societal constraints
through direct, abhorrent violence–
but for an act so violent
to be what wakes me up
on Trans Day of Remembrance…
it just feels too
too
too too
much
i have no conclusion to this poem
Stop
Killing
Us.
kipventures 