November 24, 2022

can one have growing pains
in one’s own brain?

the body eventually stops–
no more taller,
(maybe a bit wider,)
eventually the opposite:
shortening,
giving in to gravity,
what we do daily
affecting us
forever

but our minds
constantly
shift/
change/
adapt/
it’s not as easy
to pick things up,
but it is still possible.

so as we grow
into this new version
of our brain,
is that where headaches come from?
is that why i need more sleep than usual?

i wish i had
something
akin
to a wall measurement
to see the invisible
expanding…

November 23, 2022

i used to think

to feel satisfied in life

i needed fame, notoriety,

an excess of success

but the longer i find

in my unknown life

the tiny pieces of joy

that set my heart alight

the more i begin to suspect

i might have been

a little bit

incorrect

November 20, 2022

i wrote a snarky poem
for Trans Week of Awareness
telling y’all to be aware of me:
my gender, chaotic
my joy, revolutionary.
and still i talked about our siblings who are silenced
through legislation
through societal constraints
through direct, abhorrent violence–
but for an act so violent
to be what wakes me up
on Trans Day of Remembrance…
it just feels too
too
too too
much

i have no conclusion to this poem

Stop
Killing
Us.

November 19, 2022

i’ve been unintentionally rhyming
for a little while now
and i don’t know
how
i feel about it.

~~~

more words
more feelings
more emotions
more muck
to get out of my system
and out of my brain
to stream through the eyes/fingertips
onto a screen
where words seem so foreign
when writing from the heart
but here i am
here i go
here i
start

~~~

i’ve got good stuff
lately

and again

i don’t know how
i feel about
it

November 17, 2022

poor injured puppy
(i didn’t even know dogs could get
ACL tears)
(i mean, that’s not technically the diagnosis
but that’s essentially what it is
when compared with
human injuries)

and it’s common
and it’s [most likely] not going to need surgery
(knock on wood)
but
it’s so tough seeing puppies in pain
and it’s so tough when we just had our old dog
do so many procedures and things
and we just want our puppy to be able to
have the zoomies
run around
be a puppy
but
she is stuck
in puppy jail
for her own
good

November 16, 2022

my poor
sick
dogs
(one our actual puppy
limping, limping for days
no weight on the back right foot
except when she decides she’d rather balance
than feel pain)
(the other my spouse
dog-like and loving-dogs
recovered from covid just to worry themselves
into a migraine
over our sick
sick
puppy)

November 15, 2022

first day
back in the world
since coming down with the ‘rona

still got this crazy cough
still a little more exhausted than not
still gonna mask on way more than mask off

but
i got so excited about the prospect yesterday
of testing negative and getting to work and see people today

i suppose i just gotta do it
(and trust that yesterday’s excitement
was the sign i took it to be
that i’m
ready)