tummy aches last night
was it stress?
was it existential?
was it something i ate?
was it something i didn’t eat?
was it my sinuses and their dripping into my stomach?
or the meds i take for my sinuses
dripping into my
stomach?
i don’t know what it was
but it
sucked
one more
just for funzies
just for writing
just for clearing out the
cobwebs in my brain
one more
just for doing something
just for getting writing out
just for waking up my whole self
before it slowly drifts away
one more
just for excuses
just for habit-forming
just for habit-breaking and re-making
one more
just for me
just for a reader i’ll never see
just for the universe to know
i wrote
one
more
poem
glasses full of smudges
and scratches
and i want to find an eye-option
that i don’t find multiple problems with
it was never glasses
those falling off my face
and fogging up
and getting in the way
and always getting dirty
and always making me feel
self-conscious about the way i look
with glasses
and it’s recently not contacts
with the headaches when i spend
even a little bit of time
looking at a screen
and getting so damn dry after like 6 hours
and needing to replace them
over
and over
and over
and struggling when they feel
even a tiny bit off
in my eye
and the random blurs
that still haunt my eyesight
and it’ll never be
just
dealing with myopia
mine’s too intense
too advanced
too unable to see
literally
anything—not quite legally blind
but close, i’d bet, without some form of
betterment
is lasik even an option for me???
kip is home!
kip is back!
literally
everyone
in this house
[including kip]
is so happy they are home!
the puppy snoofed and kissed and croodled
the cat hasn’t left the couch by kip’s side
for more than a few minutes
and i have been in a far more
relaxed state
feeling more like myself
with my kip by my side
[and kip feels the same
with me by theirs]
it’s so strange and beautiful to have found
this wonderful little family
knock
knock
knock
says construction?
someone outside?
a random sound?
both myself and the puppy are surprised
and guarded
guarding the house and all its insides
from the potential
knock
knock
knock
of a hammer
or strong strong fist
or even an unknown piece of equipment
it left
it stopped
as quickly as it started
and the echoing
knock
knock
knock
plays in my ears
once the ringing of the puppy’s barks
disappears
i wonder
what
in the world
that
knock
knock
knock
actually was…
the kip
is gone
[to france
to maybe find
a better future
for both of us]
and while the kip is gone
the other kip…pines
and misses
and sleeps less
but gets more chores done
and the one, single, solitary thing
that i can fully enjoy
only
when the kip is away
is brewing cotton candy coffee
and letting that smell
permeate
the whole household
[but they’ve been relatively ok with it lately
even when they’re here, so now i’m just
sitting around
missing them
until they
come
home]
actually got some words
down
down
down
and maybe
just maybe
i can find something
to put
up
up
up
scrolling the feed
social media and doom
and feeling the gloom of
what a world what a world what a world
reading the newspaper
and seeing only sensation
the worst things are what sell
what a world what a world what a world
listening to the hot gossip
and feeling not so great about it
and maybe the subject matter and the talk give me
what a world what a world what a world
what a world
i cry
what a world
i try to fly away from it all
what a world
i mean
i’d like to die
but that could just be the suicidal ideation talking
or it could be this world
what a world
what a world
it could just be
this world
and here’s the thing
i know
i know
i know the world
can be pretty great sometimes
the people
their actions
there’s compassion everywhere
if you know what to look for
but sometimes we get caught up thinking
what a world
that we forget
what a world
to take a moment
what a world
and forget
what a world
about the world
what a world
and concentrate
what a world
on those
what a world
immediately
what a world
surrounding us
what a
huh
these folks/animals/vibes are pretty nice actually
what a
kind
cozy
comfy
tiny
world
sometimes
the memories
and traditions
and thoughts of events gone past
get to be too much
and you are at a [relatively] low-stakes performance
and you feel the desire
no the drive
no
the absolute
need
to go to denny’s
[or any late late late night diner]
and you try to be better behaved
than your sixteen-year-old self
but you still find yourself
singing
at the table…
[but at least there was no
truth-or-dare jenga
this time]
trying out a
[kind of]
new endeavor
could it become
a [kind of] new
obsession?
kipventures 