September 30, 2025

once
a very very very long time ago
my parents
[who are, in their own right, a couple of kooky characters]
offhandedly mentioned to me
that i was such a weird being,
once i found someone who liked me
for me
i’d better hold onto them

and though i took it as a point of pride then
[and still kind of do now]
i’d be lying if i said it didn’t impact
my own personal perception of self
and value
et cetera
et cetera
et cetera

but i think
that’s why i’m drawn
and secured
here in aerial circus

this feels like the hobby
that saw me in all my wild and strange glory
and said “that one, we like them
we’d better hold onto them”

and so i clutch back on
even tighter
to circus

September 29, 2025

when one smacks a mosquito
good and full against
an arm or a leg or a wall or a table
there often remains
a dusty shadow of the mosquito
as if to say
“here is the evidence that you’ve taken a life,
now deal with it.”

September 28, 2025

i’ve ignored the outside
for too long
for not long enough

it’s still impacting me
it’s still making its way inside

what’s wrong with living a life
pretending
all of humanity
is actually
kind?

[can “fake it till you make it”
apply to expectations
of others?]

September 25, 2025

what is this
existential nihilism that gossip gives me?

like the minute i’m not
part of the story
and instead invested in the lives of others
my own becomes ghosted
to the point of fading
out from the prime material plane

what use is my spirit
if the flame of my life
heats no one else’s hands?

[these are some silly metaphors
and even sillier phrasing for
a moment today when i experienced
true surprise at my own dealing]

September 24, 2025

the poetry isn’t flowing this morning —
it’s dripping
coagulating and spurting and leaking
that is to say
it’s still coming
just in fits and starts
and stops and lags and
drags my whole sense of self
along with it, whether it’s
coming or not
and all i can do
is try
to stay on for the whole
ride

September 23, 2025

i feel
as though
i haven’t had a regular morning
in days [true]
weeks [kinda accurate]
months [i guess one could argue this]
years [i think this is where we lose our debate]
[though, i suppose, everything post-2020 hasn’t been
regular life/mornings/any time of day
at all]

September 22, 2025

when one job
one gig
one life
gets in the way of
another job/
gig/
life
it’s annoying
it’s frustrating
it’s bad but it’s not terrible
because this is what i mean[t] when i say[said]
i cannot
stay in one lane
my
entire
existence

[so i suppose
this is the price
to pay]

September 21, 2025

ok
ok
you can do it
you can write
and you can teach
and you can lead
and you can sleep
and you can highlight
and you can act
and you can audition
and you can survive
and you can thrive
and you can get through this
busy busy busy day
where there’s so much pressure
that often tears you apart
but today is the day
that it’ll just scratch you a little
but the wound will cauterize
and then scar over
and you’ll be able to do this
over and over and over
until you barely notice
the weapons you create in your own head
that
prevent you from doing
what you want to be
doing

you can do today