August 20, 2025

as fall approaches
but isn’t quite here
not yet
not yet

the memories of late summers past
invades my mind
sans consent
[do flashbacks ever ask?]
and no matter how stable
and lovely
and mine
my life is today

i keep seeing

loss
upon loss
upon lost trust
upon that feeling of any control in life
fleeting though it may have been
stolen in an instant

and this current administration
certainly doesn’t help this
weird ptsd i’ve found myself in

everything seems to be
culminating in something
and i continue to avoid all emotions and memories
until absolutely
necessary

August 19, 2025

this poor poor puppy

from the street
to a home where
she tore both acl’s
needed surgeries
got nausea and scabs
and bumps all over
[not to mention at least one leg broken]

and finally, when she wasn’t the one giving us
veterinary grief

the cat goes and develops
hyperthyroidism
and irritable bowel disease

and then

as the cat calms down
from all her puking and med-strategizing

the puppy, once again, has a sore on her paw
which she licks and licks
and ends up in a cone
with antibiotics
and steroids
and somehow swollen ears

and we think we get all that under control

and here come the obsessive paw-licks again

i’m sorry, Computer, but you’re going to need to be
in a cone once more,
at least while we’re gone for the day

poor poor poor poor puppy.

August 18, 2025

i keep forgetting to water my poor orchid
i mean, i always remember the next day
but it is nice to take care of all the plants together

it feels like they’re all family that way.

August 17, 2025

i always think i’m
“meh” about our figs —
like,
it’s nice to have a fresh off the tree
fruit
in your mouth,
but i’d prefer
a strawberry
or pomegranate
or lychee

but then i take a bite into a fig itself
and even the ones from yesterday
which were, apparently, “not that great”
i still find myself closing my eyes
in order to savor the taste fully,
involuntarily saying “mmm”
as it melts in my mouth,
and crunching down on every single seed in my mouth
with delight

i might not have found figs this delicious
without a tree full of fresh ones in our backyard

but i’m so glad it all turned out this way

August 15, 2025

do i have writer’s block
or does writer’s block have me
in a chokehold
from which i’ll never be released

do i have writer’s block
or is writer’s block my best frenemy
stalking me
fighting
and making up
and i keep them around for…
…for what?

do i have writer’s block
or is my whole life a lie
based on wanting to write
but never knowing how or when or why
or even if i really should
so i just
rush back
into writer’s block’s arms

do i have writer’s block
or are these excuses
to keep me from writing out
my whole soul?

August 14, 2025

i think my lot in life
is to fight fascism with
art
humanity
and softness

i don’t know how much of an impact i can make

but i can make you think about the fact that i don’t consider
fascists
humans

and perhaps that’s enough to get our brains working on critical thinking once more

August 13, 2025

it always feels so strange to me
when i can acutely feel the effects of
whatever is waking me up
actively waking me up

whether it’s writing poetry
or drinking coffee
or water
just recognizing my body and brain
slowly opening up
and letting the day in
like a flower in the sunshine

[we are all far more nature
than we
realize]

August 12, 2025

playing silly video games
of nature reclaiming industry
and religion
and it is one of very few things
offering me
solace
and comfort
and peace these days

[“Cloud Gardens” is the name of this game
should you need a similar
respite]