but what to write about
when my brain feels so tired
and exhausted from trying to
be creative all week
and knowing that there’s still a couple of things
left to adjust
and fix and mix in
but it’s ok
for a first
draft
it’s ok
for my first
try
it’s ok
for a first
and maybe even a second
or maybe
maybe
maybe
it’s better than ok
for all of those things
[i need to believe
in my creativity
more]
the end
of an era
Joann’s was synonymous with
creativity
and even in these last few weeks and months
of craziness and chaos,
bankruptcy and shut-down,
final sales and equipment liquidation,
the workers still find ways to connect
and laugh
and breathe
the overwhelming ache
of knowing strangers’
wants
and needs
and their own aches
and feeling hopeless
and helpless
even while knowing
individuals cannot save everyone —
it is companies and economies
and governmental systems
that keep those in want
wanting,
and keep those in the place of
being able to give
here
and there
stuck
in overwhelm…
fuck capitalism.
where is our revolution
of kindness?
frustrations
and stress
and an almost good day yesterday
which should have lent itself to
an almost good sleep last night
but instead, it was some of the worst sleep i’ve had
in a month or two or three
[or more]
i suppose i shouldn’t discount
the amount that stress
impacts my own nighttime
half-waking ponderings…
just writing
quick morning words
and then back to working
on the thing i should have started
a month ago
but alas
the maybeHD
and procrastinatory tendencies
make it so
in this week
before the event
this is when my creativity
actually explodes
quiet the mind
just enough to hear the important thoughts/
the creative thoughts/
the thoughts that are often drowned out
by anxiety rambling
and existential depression blues
there may be creative moments
inside those diatribes
but i’ve heard enough of them to know —
it’s getting past them
that the true me
lies
[in truth]
letting myself
not see signs
everywhere
[in a life
absolutely inundated
with overwhelming coincidence]
trying to writing
to finish the thinking
to begin the day
and continuing
and continuing
starting
from finishing
from ending —
a beginning
i still think it’s so interesting
that one of my absolute favorite genres
of music is 8-bit video-game music
[whether or not it’s remixed in some cool way]
even though i was not
at all
a gamer growing up
and even now
i
barely game
at all
gibberish poems
can become
gibberish songs
which may be
exactly what i need to do
in order to stop me
from overanalyzing
and overjudging
and overscrutinizing
my own creativity
kipventures 