i don’t feel like writing
but i don’t feel like not writing
like i have things to say
but i’m not aching to say them
like all my past lives have caught up with me
and instead of blocking them out
they came in
and we had tea
and chatted till they had to leave
and some of the conversation was important
and some of it was fluff
and some of it got out
what i’m constantly trying to get out
and the emotional hangover hasn’t caught up with me
yet
but i can feel it approaching
i can feel it encroaching
i can feel it coming
for me
Month: May 2024
May 30, 2024
interesting when i write a poem
and can feel the subject matter/concept
has something there, but that the poem itself
is a rough rough rough first draft, like i know
i’ll have to re-write and maybe even re-re-write
but the subject
and a few lines
of this first try
are usable
and i don’t feel the overwhelming failure
that a ‘not good enough’ poem usually brings me,
because this is simply an opportunity
to write it out better/more accurate/in a way that everyone
might
identify with me and understand.
May 29, 2024
do i really
truly
actually
need someone to tell me what to do with my life?
[especially because, when told, i struggle being beholden to other people
and end up resisting every step of the way]
why does my brain make no sense to me?
May 28, 2024
if only i ever found a time
when i thought my mind was organized
but as it stands
and as it be
the organization of my mind is cacophony
May 27, 2024
i am struggling this morning
and that’s ok
that’s ok
that’s ok
i don’t need to churn out perfect poems
and mind-bending perspectives
each and every day
one poem to post
simplistic and chill
as these other ideas percolate
for another morning poem time
and i can let myself be imperfect
i can let myself be imperfect
i can let myself be imperfect
i can.
May 26, 2024
outside
writing morning poetry
in the afternoon
listening to the sweet melodies
of trains and planes and crows above me
and the puppy pacing to keep up with everything that needs investigating
i do kind of wish we would have spent more time outside
before the weather turned from mildly warm
to HOT
and this isn’t even the hottest it’ll be
not even close
but
we’ll deal with the sweat
and embrace the sun
[or hide underneath the sail of shade]
and let the puppy play with us
and keep the cat
well hidden
inside
from afternoon
outside time
May 25, 2024
sometimes i hide inside myself
feeling like my feelings are infiltrators
unwelcome guests that i can block
out
like as long as i don’t think about a thing
there’s no possible way it can affect me
and the effects won’t come effecting
until i open my door and let them in
invite them to come, when i’m more levelheaded
and can see emotions from a more logical standpoint
but i should know better
about all of
that.
May 24, 2024
didn’t really write yesterday
today is seeming to be starting the same way
do i need an excuse to put this all away
or do i need to allow myself to delve
deeper
in these morning poems
than i have been doing
recently?
May 23, 2024
why isn’t the poetry giving me the same excited vibe
it has been for three plus years?
do i need time
away?
or will this feeling pass
anyway?
May 22, 2024
still half asleep
still half deep in the
vibe that was yesterdays time
trying and trying to be, once again
a person who leaves their home now and then
but the sleep got me good
as i hope sometimes it would
and i know i really should
do something, anything to actually wake
but i have to say
this sleepy way
is kinda great
the vibes are
nap
rather than
panic attack
and that’s nice.
kipventures 