letting a poem end
where it wants to end,
though you have so many postscripts and parentheticals to add/
explanation and context a reader may need/
something a little extra so you’re not misunderstood/
but letting a poem end
and stand
where it wants to let be
and let free
is a thing of bravery —
i’m learning
i’m learning
Month: January 2024
January 10, 2024
the wind howling all night
rain smack splat thwacking the windows —
the puppy and i, unable to rest our eyes,
for hoping the terror in the night
is just nature knocking a little too forcefully
on our door
[but fear it is something more];
staring into the darkness
hoping to see a clue being borne,
hoping to see the end of the storm —
unable, we slink to a different bedroom
a smaller, cozier, stiffer bedroom
thank goodness for a guest bed, one where i can
fall asleep
but i wish wish wish
it could be a bed
where i stay
a
sleep
all night
all night
alas, alack,
’tis not to be
[but at least sleep caught up with the puppy]
January 9, 2024
alone with a puppy
because kip is out in st. louis —
i get to watch whatever i want
at whatever volume i like /
i can light candles
or eat something smelly /
i can clean the house
or leave it messy /
i can listen to music so spooky
in the middle of january —
but i would still rather have my kip here with me
[as would the puppy
as would the puppy]
January 8, 2024
jazzy morning
until i get my head on straight
until i can see the light come in
through the window
onto my screen
into my eyes
and i can be fully awake
for this day
coming by
January 7, 2024
math jazz
leaves your mind
expecting
exactly
what it
isn’t
~~~
i’ve written so much
of
nothing this morning
and
i can’t seem to stop
nor
do i feel satisfied with anything i’ve done
so
i guess i’ll keep writing and writing and writing
until
i feel some sort of closer closure, somewhere.
~~~
do i not want to review my older works because i think they’ll be worse,
or do i not want to delve deep because i know myself and my tendency
to get all wrapped up, bundled in the blanket of the past, wondering
what if what if what if, until i find myself unable to experience the
presence of the
present
moment
?
January 6, 2024
too hungry
to concentrate
too uncomfortable
to think
too acting-as-a-leaning-post-for-the-dog
to adjust my legs
and dive/delve deep
into morning poetry
too tired
too distracted
too sad/shared anxiety/apathetic/too pathetic/wanting other words to be right
when none of them fit
to do anything right now
guess i can always try again
later
January 5, 2024
our little genderqueer outside cat
grey tabby
names:
dustbowl
dusty
sharknado
comes nearly every day to eat the food we put out for all the cats
(some days twice)
getting used to me,
but still stays more than two arms-lengths away
at all times
at all times
but sometimes
will make eye contact
and walk past
as if i’m not the most frightening thing on the planet
and i think that’s
progress
January 4, 2024
maybe i just need a kick in the pants
a push in some direction
any direction
to just try some things out
let’s dabble in dancing
in aerial theatre
in embroidery/stained glass/poetry/story-writing/singing
i want to be performing
and i want to stay home and safe and comfy
and i want to be known
and i want to never be perceived
and i want to grow my talents
but i get so frustrated when i’m not immediately good at something
and i can’t help but think
that this is what life is
so if it’s what life is
then maybe i should just
enjoy the ride
that i’m on
January 3, 2023
pick at the nail polish
pick at the skin beside
pick at your lips and the inside of your cheek
with your teeth
as they glide over and over and over
searching for purchase
searching for purpose
searching for something to quiet the mind
and never admit to having anxiety
ever
ever
ever in your life
[a poem for someone
maybe someone
other than me]
January 2, 2024
today is Computer’s birthday
turning two
on january 2
sillily pouncing on plastic bags,
wild-eyed licking her treats she gets,
sadly lying under the table
in her cute yellow hoodie
matching with her kips
just another day…
and yet
a big one too —
a grown a-dog
[that’s a grown adult dog, if you
didn’t know already]
but she’ll always be
Puppies
to me
[to both of us really]
kipventures 