August 11, 2023

the spouse
and i
have begun evening exercises
with video game kickboxing.
and we love it,
for strength/
for cardio/
for cute couple-y things to do together
in the privacy of our own home
(so no one can judge
our sweaty-red faces
but each other)//
but the cutest thing
about this endeavor
is that, due to game limitations,
lack of working controllers,
and opposite busted shoulders,
kip and i play as one person—
me on the right
kip on the left—
to share in the successes
and failures
of our one digital avatar.

and if that isn’t a perfect example
of disgustingly cute gay love,
i don’t know what is.

August 10, 2023

going through
a ‘gak’ phase
a ‘gulp’
a ‘meh’
a ‘throw up a little in my mouth
at my own words and thoughts and talents’
time
a momentary loss
of perceived
good-at-writing
(at least from my own perspective)
and i need
to remind
myself
it happens,
it happens;
it’s temporary,
it’s temporary.

(and for now
maybe
indulge in some
bad
writing)

August 9, 2023

the cat
lying
comfortably on my lap

the puppy
playing
exuberantly with her toys

something happens

some kind of loud noise

now both animals are scared,
the cat has yeeted herself from my body,
and that is why i’m bleeding.

August 8, 2023

i feel as though i’ve
run a mile in my mind and
i still can’t seem to find
any kind
of through line
or success in a poem of mine

perhaps this is the type of morning to
hide under the sheets until
i feel human once
again

August 7, 2023

rain pouring/
pounding
on our little roof,
waking me up
long before the sound
of our collective alarms,
but lulling me into
a false sense of security
that i would be able to
fall gently asleep
once more

instead the internet/
and uneven droplets/
and awkward room temperature/
and brightness sneaking in
from a gentle sunrise
outside
kept me up since 5

and now
at 8:30
i’m downing this coffee
just to stay
alive

(but at least the weather is as spooky as our morning music)

August 5, 2023

we have
such a good dog!

oh
my
goodness!

when she does the things we ask of her —
so good!

when she doesn’t,
but wants to,
but gets a little confused —
very good!

when she is feeling a bit contrary
but clearly wants us
to be proud —
so good!

when she misbehaves
it’s usually because
we didn’t give her
enough attention
or exercise
or know exactly
what was going through her mind
at the time,
and that makes her
still
a good
good
dog!

August 3, 2023

so many books
on my reading list,
and each one
i’m so
so
excited
to crack open/
to get lost in the world/
to be absorbed by the story/
to learn facts and histories
and processes
that will make me rethink
just about everything/
to have a topic
to rehash with friends and spouses/
or bring up to folks
i think would love it —
and while i may be a faster reader
than a majority of american adults,
i’m slower than tortoise paced
when compared with
the human i live with/
who shares this house
full of stacks of books
for me to read/
and they’ve read them all
it seems/
so i’m trying not to get discouraged
as i watch the stack
grow
(for they show their love
by buying me
more and more and more
books)
but even with the tower
of my ‘to read’ pile
climbing much higher
than i am tall
(though, as a shorty,
that’s not hard at all)
i love books
so much so
that i can’t help
but still be
so
so so so
excited
to read them all

[eventually]

August 2, 2023

tired
inspired
driven
distracted
saddened
and suddenly
maddened
and then
a little
glad
and
that’s just what i can describe
of my emotions
this morning

no wonder i always come back
to
exhausted