stop writing
for purpose
stop writing
for audience
stop writing
for rules
and structure
and rhyme scheme
and
just write
for expression
for emotion
for you
for you
[for me]
[i write for me
let that be what it will be]
stop writing
for purpose
stop writing
for audience
stop writing
for rules
and structure
and rhyme scheme
and
just write
for expression
for emotion
for you
for you
[for me]
[i write for me
let that be what it will be]
the puppy
newly recovered from surgery
still overexerts herself in excitement
and panic
whenever the cat comes near
and i don’t know how to help her see
the cat will still be here when she is healthy
still bizarre to me
that people who do not know me
would want to read my poetry
but i suppose i’ll just keep posting it here
for anyone at all to see
it’s wild
the nighttime writing
so different from the morning
but still so much the same
i’d kindly lay myself aside
for a pup or cat or Kip
but the hardest thing i had to learn
was that my survival is their wish
course-correcting
my sail needs some attention
there are holes and rips and i can’t seem to get the tail-wind right
and i don’t know anything about sailing
so i don’t know if i’m getting this analogy at all accurate
but i do feel
like a little sailboat
in the midst of a great ocean
trying to catch a breeze
but the winds of executive function
keep blowing right through me
the interesting thing
about this way of writing
poetry
(and prose, i suppose)
is that flowing from the fingertips
is actually the most apt analogy—
i don’t sit here
pondering each line
especially coming up with each
rhyme
instead i’m writing
and writing
and typing as the words come to me
sometimes before even
i have any sort of language inside my mind
but the words keep flowing/
like little rivers from brain/
to my hands/
crafting a poem
a story
a something
and not knowing if it’s good or not
but at least
knowing
that it
flows
watch out
i’m moody
i’m grumpy
i want to wear all black
mourn the death of this nation
that was never that great to begin with
but conceptually it had some nice ideas…
…is that the human condition?
everything looks pretty good on paper
but the moment it comes to actively
executing the ideas laid out
everything, everything, falls apart?
i have so much more i want to say
but my brain won’t focus itself in a way
that i can parse through
what i’ve said yet
and not
so i suppose i’ll wait until tomorrow
(or maybe just until this day
is through)
and try again.
social events
breed
social anxiety
(and somehow there are people
who need this?!?!)