July 21, 2023

have i pushed myself
too far
too hard?

will i last
until
just past
the show?

can my body
ever
recover?

or am i making a big deal
out of this body
i have no idea how to deal with?

July 20, 2023

maybe
the reason i feel
my emotions take over my whole self
or
my brain can convince me of untruths
or
my body doesn’t understand how to body
is not because
they are all fighting for control
but because
they are fighting
for connection

i am in the center
my self is the combination
of heart
and mind
and physical being
and if the three can be
together
as one
maybe i won’t feel so lost
and separated
and not
myself

July 19, 2023

ever write poetry
with a rhyme scheme in your mind
from an un-written line,
one you decided wasn’t worth the fight/
the force of putting it in,
but the next line rhymes so fittingly
that you insert it just so —
and when you read the flow
you still speak it as though
that first line is still there
(you just don’t say it out loud)
and it all fits together
with phrases in your mind —
and you wonder
if a reader
who isn’t just you
could feel that it flows,
even though the flow
may not be as obvious
as it is to you…

anyone else do that too?

July 18, 2023

tho no one
likes
the un-airconditioned train
i still smile to myself
every time a new group enters
and makes the same
“awww, nahhh/no!”
when they realize
the car they’ve chosen
will only increase
the nyc heat

it’s the little moments that show —
we are more alike than we are different

July 15, 2023

giving up on
one contest
for a guaranteed
expression
of self

giving up on
a new book club
(at least this month)
for connection
with spouse
with pup
with cat
with friend

giving up on
a couple of mornings
of poem-tidings
for sharing
my emotions
when they’re ready
to be written about
when they’re ready
to be shared
when they’re ready
when i’m ready
when
i’m

i am

July 14, 2023

red-eyed puppy
gazing soulfully
through her cone
trying to sleep
through pain
and excitement
trying to calm
herself
through rough times
and cat visits
and trying to occupy her time
through crate-rest boredom

how long does this puppy have to stay
without an outlet
for her puppy energy?