umm yes, hello
spooky times in late late nights
(not too late tonight
but later than i’d like)
cat scratches and line runnings
and poem pickings to be posted
and why not, there’s no such thing as perfection
just doing
just doing.
Month: January 2023
January 20, 2023
i feel like
every atom of my body
has been dipped in molasses
and is just trying to do the best it can
in the given circumstances
but that best
is not the best
i’m used to
so i keep pushing
when maybe what i need to do
is rest?
(i sleep all the time.
i don’t do much.
but when was the last time
i rested
without guilt?)
(was it ever???)
January 19, 2023
my mind fills with stories
my eyes close and see words
language was always about translation
from thoughts to forms others understood
but here in this moment
when opportunity meets momentum
only morning pages
will ever
get done
~~~
but is that
so bad
a thing?
~~~
i know i could write prose in poetry
i know i could tell a story esoterically
but my words still only seem fit
to express the feelings
in my own life
how could i tell another’s?
January 18, 2023
seeing the swarm sully the skies
grackle cries
another super-group
giant roost
all of them
re-creating that film The Birds
(which i’ve never seen, but i know there’s a giant swarm
of silken-black birds
and there they were
ripe for the simile)
so close we could hear their wings flap
so close we could see their heads shine blue
so close the dog assumed she could grab one or two
so close they felt ominous
but also magnificent
what an honor
to be greeted this day
by the only time the grackles fly together
wintertime
and look for grub
in our messy
yard
go ahead and hop up and down the path
you’re sweeping the leaves for us;
thanks!
January 17, 2023
if we are to attack with metaphor
with analogy
with any sort of literary
device at our side
what would my depression be?
a shadow?
sounds too cliché
too perfect
but hear me out:
it’s always there
just sometimes i can’t see it
from my particular angle
and different environments
make it a different type
of shadow:
large and looming/
grounded and serene and looking just like me/
a tiny pool of darkness at my feet/
or not at all there
(but change one light
one type
of something
anything
in the room/place
and there it is again
and the question of
‘did it really leave
or was it just laying
in wait?’
and i’m unsure if we’re speaking
within the explanation or reality
within the metaphor or truly
just talking about my relationship
with my ever-constant frenemy
depression)
so if that darkness
is a shadow
what is my constant worry
of anxiety
what new analogy
could i find
for thee?
January 16, 2023
it’s already halfway through
the month of january
and though that makes me
a little worried/
gives me
a little bit of stress/
i also find myself
a little relieved—
‘only halfway through’
is the mantra in my mind
‘still so much time
for so many things to do’
things with due dates
obviously
set the level of anxiety
within me
but other things
general goals
tries
resolutions
if you want to call them that
they have so much
so much
so much of the month/season/year left
so let’s do them
January 15, 2023
Happy National Bagel Day!
one of my top three things to eat
the only one of those three i have
nearly every day
(now that we live in New York at least)
bread
boiled and baked
toasted ever so slightly
just to let the cream cheese slide over it
and warm the mouth as i bite
everything seasoning everywhere
a small price to pay for the deliciousness
of poppyseeds, sesame, garlic, onion, and salt
filling my tastebuds with joy.
hot and fluffy
crisp and cakey
sweet or savory
my favorite item at a bakery
i have to stop myself actively
from having it for every meal
bagels
so damn good
every day should be
National Bagel Day
but i’ll take today in stride
and order a baker’s dozen
(as we do most Sundays)
but today i’ll do it
with massive pride!
January 14,2023
silly thoughts
styles
how much
leave it alone
i wonder where i was going
initially
with that poem
January 13, 2023
am i digging
writing
this morning
pressure
from me
to me
keeps playing
at least i have
a coffee nearby
and a bagel
soon to be in my belly
and a dog and a spouse and a cat in this house
all by my side
(emotionally at least)
don’t get caught up in the minutia
the tiny details
the what if these have all been said before
the before of writing
when you haven’t even put pen to paper
or finger to keyboard
when you worry what you have to say
isn’t good enough
or big enough
or beautiful enough
or you aren’t any of these things either
just write
January 12, 2023
if i write
what i always needed
as a child
what might that be?
because i was pretty satisfied
when i was that age
of the grand adventures
and imaginative natures
of many of the stories
with heroes who looked
a lot like
me
but what i need now
is to have noticed i needed then
a mix between girl and boy/
that any harsh division
is unnecessary/
and that i don’t/didn’t need to carry
the weight of an entire gender
on my young shoulders.
should i write
a protagonist
who thinks that?
or would they simply come off
as
your early 2000’s Mary Sue
(and since when has that stopped
any aging white boy
from doing
pretty much
exactly that?)
kipventures 