on pumping myself up (and all that entails) :

you can do it!
[i can do it]
the coffee will help!
[but it’s not a necessity,
because i can do it on my own!]
yes, you can do it all on your own!
just go into the thing, and change the other thing
[very specific of you]
thank you.
but for realz, who cares if anyone gets upset?
it’s your name
your identity
what makes you feel good/
gender euphoric/
most yourself
[and if i run into another issue
about ‘how names should be formatted’?]
well, then, that’s the patriarchy,
and your know what we do to the patriarchy…
[burn it down!?!]
burn it down!!!

…but also, logistics/red tape/maybe a strongly worded letter
[mmm, strongly worded letters…]
much better than politely worded letters, don’t you think?
a way to get out your ire &
not to freak out about the writing of an email
because it needn’t be perfect,
but it must be passionate
[but what if they don’t believe me
because it’s not perfect?
or what if the person who gets the email
believes the same as i do
and i ruin their day
because not only did they get ire
all sent towards themself,
they also can’t do anything
about it
and that makes them feel worse???]
…
i mean, we don’t even know if we need to write a strongly worded letter
yet,
first we need to try to do the thing
and i feel like
both this poem
and the overthinking
are ways to avoid
just doing the thing;
staying complacent
in this quite simple and adjustable lot in life
so…?
are we gonna do it?
[…
…
…yes?]
yes!
do it!!
you can!!!

[update:
i did it!
it was easy
but then…
memories!?!?

ugh, the social medias…]
ugh…